SEYMOUR

(Affectionately, Seymour begins to talk to the Plant)

Who cares if I’ve been a little on the anaemic side these past few weeks? So what if I’ve had a few dizzy spells, a little light-headedness.  It’s been worth it, old pal.  Well, Twoey, I’m a little hungry. I’m gonna run down to Schmendrik’s and get a bite to eat.  I’ll see you in the….

(The PLANT ‘wilts’ suddenly, tilting sharply to one side and remaining there.)

Oh boy, here we go again. Look, I haven’t got much left. Just give me a few more days to heal, okay? Then we’ll start again on the left hand… 

 

 

AUDREY

It’s always been a daydream of mine. A little development I dream of. Just off the interstate. Not fancy like Levittown. Just a little street in a little suburb - far, far from Urban Skid Row. The sweetest, greenest place - where everybody has the same little lawn out front and the same little flagstone patio out back. And all the houses are so neat and pretty… ‘Cause they all look alike. Oh, I dream about it all the time. Just me. And the toaster. And a sweet little guy. Like Seymour —

 

 

MUSHNIK

(Explaining something he has picked up off the floor with his paint scraper.) 

Little red dots.  All over the floor.  

I had a pretty strange afternoon, son.  After my lawyer’s appointment, I was called to the police station. It seems they made a routine investigation into the disappearance of this motorcycle dentist.  And when they did — It seems they found a Mushnik’s Skid Row Florists Bag…. in… his… office!  And then I began to think about certain things I’ve noticed around here, lately.  Little red dots all over the linoleum!  Hard to keep things clean around here, isn’t it!  

 

 

ORIN

(With sincere respect and admiration for the antique looking drill in his hand) They don’t make instruments like this, anymore. Sturdy, heavy, dull. (Beat; getting excited) This is gonna be a challenge.  This is gonna be a pleasure.  I’m gonna want some gas for this one!  Nitrous oxide. (Sweetly.) Oh, the gas isn’t for you, Seymour.  It’s for me. I want to really enjoy this and I find that a little giggle gas before we begin increases my pleasure enormously.  In fact… I’m gonna use my special gas mask!  Just relax, Seymour, I’ll be with you in a moment. 

​

​

PLANT & URCHIN TRIO

There is no additonal scrept required for Audrey II or the Urchins.

​